Weird But Effective Introduction For Sarah
I will admit I'm not very witty when it comes to creating titles for things. So I thought I'd Google ideas to be creative with my phrasing of the word introduction. The first thing that came up was a list of 74 catchy blog titles that will grab people's attention. A list of fill in the blank titles. After trying to add "introduction" to each of the titles, the one I settled on made me giggle the most: Weird But Effective Introduction For Sarah. If you want to see the list for yourself, you can follow this link: Funny Blog Titles . As the title suggests, my name is Sarah. I'm double majoring in accounting and MIS and I plan to apply for the accelerated master program at the end of the semester and start working towards my masters in MIT. However, I may just settle for one bachelors and be done with it! I have been going to school for the better part of a decade now and have changed majors so many times I've lost track. I am married and have children. M
Wow, you have such a way with words! Your in-depth descriptions really sets the scene, and you have a great balance of dialogue. I also enjoy where you have your character Adeline contemplate "out loud" with some rhetorical questions, seeing her innermost thoughts is a clever technique to steer your reader to allow both the internal and external situations propel the story in harmony. Little things like "butterflies *crowded* her stomach" paints a picture that goes beyond simply stating the obvious emotion, and this is only one of many examples of sentences that really stuck out in terms of excellence. I love that you channeled "cheesy pre-teen romance novel," there definitely wasn't anything corny about your retelling whatsoever! You executed this story beautifully!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I absolutely loved your descriptions in this story. They were so vivid and just beautifully done. The narration was so well written as well. It really makes for an interesting scene with the way you’ve set it up. I could see how your characters fit into the original, even if it was a little bit different. I enjoyed your vampire interpretation of the original story. I think that was a very fun twist!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I got to read this story this week on your portfolio page and I really enjoyed it! I like how you mentioned that this was like a cheesy teen vampire novel because those are sometimes my favorite types of stories to read. Your use of detail in this story allowed me to visualize what was going on. It was a super entertaining story to read and I thought it was really unique.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah!
ReplyDeleteI have gotten your blog a couple of times and you always impress me with the stories that you write, you really seem to have the knack for writing. The story was really composed well and the use of the paragraphs throughout the story was really well done. When the story line shifted from one character to another you separated it into a different paragraph and it made it easy to read. I also really liked your use of new lines for the dialogue between the different characters. Good job Sarah, I really don't have anything that I can say bad about this story.
Hi Sarah!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in your story is fantastic! I thought your story had a great mixture of dialogue and descriptive sentences. I love this modern retelling of the story, and I like that you used the story of Bhima and Hidimba since that is not always a popular part of the Mahabharata. This was such a beautiful story to read!