Comment Wall: Extraordinary Tales
Title: Copenhagen, Denmark Source: Wikimedia Welcome to the comments section for my portfolio page. I will be adding stories to my portfolio that reflect some of my favorites from the Epics we read. These stories will be versions told in my own words with my own personality. I hope you enjoy the read and feel free to comment, suggest or give feedback on the things you like, don't like or could use improvement. Here is a link to my GoogleSites . Enjoy the read and have a great semester! P.S. Image information - I originally had set this up to be a storybook. After getting behind, it was best for me to switch. However, I decided to leave the coffee picture as my image. While I won't be talking about food for my storybook, coffee is still an important thing in my life. Every time I sit down to write a story, I ALWAYS have a cup close by. It helps my brain do it's thing. I felt it fitting to leave the image here since it is a part of every story (even if not exp
Wow, you have such a way with words! Your in-depth descriptions really sets the scene, and you have a great balance of dialogue. I also enjoy where you have your character Adeline contemplate "out loud" with some rhetorical questions, seeing her innermost thoughts is a clever technique to steer your reader to allow both the internal and external situations propel the story in harmony. Little things like "butterflies *crowded* her stomach" paints a picture that goes beyond simply stating the obvious emotion, and this is only one of many examples of sentences that really stuck out in terms of excellence. I love that you channeled "cheesy pre-teen romance novel," there definitely wasn't anything corny about your retelling whatsoever! You executed this story beautifully!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I absolutely loved your descriptions in this story. They were so vivid and just beautifully done. The narration was so well written as well. It really makes for an interesting scene with the way you’ve set it up. I could see how your characters fit into the original, even if it was a little bit different. I enjoyed your vampire interpretation of the original story. I think that was a very fun twist!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I got to read this story this week on your portfolio page and I really enjoyed it! I like how you mentioned that this was like a cheesy teen vampire novel because those are sometimes my favorite types of stories to read. Your use of detail in this story allowed me to visualize what was going on. It was a super entertaining story to read and I thought it was really unique.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah!
ReplyDeleteI have gotten your blog a couple of times and you always impress me with the stories that you write, you really seem to have the knack for writing. The story was really composed well and the use of the paragraphs throughout the story was really well done. When the story line shifted from one character to another you separated it into a different paragraph and it made it easy to read. I also really liked your use of new lines for the dialogue between the different characters. Good job Sarah, I really don't have anything that I can say bad about this story.
Hi Sarah!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in your story is fantastic! I thought your story had a great mixture of dialogue and descriptive sentences. I love this modern retelling of the story, and I like that you used the story of Bhima and Hidimba since that is not always a popular part of the Mahabharata. This was such a beautiful story to read!